A friend from work just sent me this information about how to work with oppositional defiance disorder. This seems really good for any defiant behavior. I will definitly be using this on Tuesday, I'll let you know how it goes.
PULLING IN THE REINS
Pulling in the reins is a technique to decrease the struggling with your child. By giving him/her choices, and encouraging appropriate actions, your child learns that if he/she does not make a choice, YOU WILL. Pulling in the reins helps the child learn to make decisions and to be responsible for the choices he/she makes.
HERE IS HOW TO PULL IN THE REINS:
When the child’s behavior is creating a problem for you, begin by giving a choice with wide parameters.
“Would you like to write on regular lined paper or special paper?”
If your child argues, continues to complain, and basically does not comply, do NOT repeat your original choice. Give him/her a new choice with narrower parameters, or rather, without the best option.
“You can write on regular small lined paper or regular big lined paper.”
If your child does not comply, take away another choice, again the better of the two options, and provide him/her with a less attractive choice.
“You can write on the front of the small lined paper or the back of the small lined paper.”
If your child is still struggling with you, give them the choice of doing the task voluntarily or involuntarily, but you MUST follow through.
“You can write by yourself, or I will help you write.”
If your child still refuses, physically guide him/her to complete the given task.
Your child will soon learn that if they don’t make a decision, you will make their decisions for the. For a child who often engages in power struggles, he/she will fight to retain their decision-making abilities. Thus, after several times of “Pulling in the Reins”, you will notice your child will act more quickly to make better choices to prevent you from making the choices for him/her.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Working with Oppositional Defiance Disorder
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27 comments:
Though this does sound like a good idea, what happens when the child refuses to make the final choice?---throws paper on floor, screams when pushed to try harder, hits you, or begins cussing you out (at 5 years old) I like the idea of this, but what happens after you make the final decision and the child still does not comply?
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